R.I.P. HR Nightmare
I’ve decided to release myself from my self-imposed hiatus to announce the sad news that our favorite asshole, HR Nightmare, has passed away. HR “Mike” Nightmare always said that the only way he’d leave this life is if Death snuck up on him when he wasn’t paying attention. Mike didn’t know how right he was.
Halloween night, arriving home after taking his eight year-old daughter River trick-or-treating, he decided he’d step out on the porch to have a smoke. It happened just like they say in the movies- he was dead before he hit the ground. For all you stubborn folks out there who refuse to quit smoking or to take high blood pressure seriously, let Mike be your cautionary tale. The stroke waiting for you is a killer.
It’s been a hard month for us all since he passed. But being sad isn’t what he would have wanted, so if you’d like to honor him, take a shot, raise some hell, and annoy someone you love. If you would like to help his family, a Go Fund Me link is available here.
Rest in peace, Mike Wakefield. You will be missed.
Justice
Well, it’s done.
Soon-to-be Justice Brett Kavanaugh has been confirmed.
Whether that fact pans out to be a good or bad decision, only time will tell. Some of us are rejoicing. Others, like me, are beyond disappointed. Not because I believe he is guilty. Only he and Dr. Ford know the truth. I am angry because (more…)
Top 10 Reasons Why My Husband is a Saint
Hello.
My name is H.E. Ellis, and I am chronically immature.
That’s a bit harsh. Maybe a more accurate description would be that I am suffering from a case of arrested development. I guess that’s what you’d call my need to prioritize my life by what is fun as opposed to what is necessary. My AD affliction isn’t so bad in and of itself, but it affects my husband’s life daily. Here are the top ten reasons why my husband is a saint:
Quest For A Shamrock Shake
Like most Americans, I mark the changing of seasons not by dates or by weather or by solstices, but by the return of iconic milkshakes. Arby’s Orange Creme shake marks the beginning of summer, their Pumpkin Cheesecake shake welcomes the fall, McDonald’s Eggnog shake is a classic every winter but the best and most anticipated of all is their Shamrock Shake in the spring. (more…)
Dear President Trump
Arming our nation’s teachers to defend against mass shootings is not a solution because teachers, Mr. President, are not soldiers.
Arming a teacher with a weapon does not instantly turn that teacher into someone who is capable of taking a human life, no matter how proficient a marksman he or she is. They lack the intense psychological training and preparation soldiers receive that is necessary in order to take a life. Teachers are not soldiers and targets are not people.
Armed guards at schools is not a solution either. Anyone who has never taken a human life who says they can do so without hesitation is not someone you want armed anywhere near a child or a school. They will either become the kind of guard who stands frozen in a parking lot while children die inside, or they become a wannabe hero who takes a life because the opportunity to call it vigilantism presents itself. (*cough* George Zimmerman *cough*).
I have worked most of my adult life in the educational system and have only witnessed one instance where a decorated soldier successfully transitioned into teaching and believe me, the world would be a much better place if that man were in charge. But sadly, he is an anomaly. I believe that most teachers would not be able to pull the trigger on an armed child standing in front of them, especially if he or she knew the child. I know I wouldn’t be able to.
My vote, Mr. President, is not to react with defense, but with offense. Offense wins Super Bowls, right? So why not use offense to tackle this problem? Let’s put our tax dollars BACK into schools. Let’s hire more teachers so they are able to offer more one-on-one attention to students. Let’s serve healthy breakfasts and lunches because trying to do anything on an empty stomach is a waste of time. Support after school activities and pay the people who run these programs a reasonable wage to do so.
Maybe most importantly, let’s hire more counselors who can identify problem students early and then give them resources to help that child grow into someone who doesn’t become so disenfranchised that he or she shoots up their own school.
Did you notice, Mr. President, that when kids shoot up a school, they shoot up THEIR school? And why not? School is the entire world to a child, and if that child feels as though that world doesn’t want them, the rejection becomes too much to bear. And let’s not forget that the majority of people who murder children at school are children themselves. More guns are not the answer to that problem. Early intervention is.
Mr. President, we don’t need another mouthpiece for the NRA. We need you to make a pledge to invest as much time, effort and money into the safety of our children as you do anything else that crosses your desk.
Thank you.
The MLK Challenge
I am blessed to share my birthday with the great Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr, who would have been 89 years-old today. I’ve always felt a kinship with Dr. King because of our shared birthdays, and have strived to emulate him in word and deed my whole life. This isn’t always easy to do, because unlike my best friend who shares a birthday with Hitler, my birthday has some pretty big shoes to fill.
H.E. ELLIS 